I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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