Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
