just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
