Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You made out with two different species that night
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize