i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize