My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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