i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
