So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
