My liver just broke up with me...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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