The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
