My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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