xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
