after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
