Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
