Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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