You can't motorboat a personality
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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