you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
