for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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