BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
