I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
