Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the day after is always just damage control
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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