Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
