I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize