Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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