And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
