i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
