My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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