I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize