I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize
