I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
