it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
