i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
