At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
