if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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