if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We're too hungover to prance.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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