Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
handjob tips. give me some.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
