i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
