I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
