She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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