If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize