i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
