I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
