can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
