An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize