i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
