big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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