we're blogging at a bar
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
