Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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