WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
