so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
