HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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