Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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