This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
