i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
