Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
