I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
