I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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