Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
