Life is so much better after having sex.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
