My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
