I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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